ShivanDreams

Life without pain is a life I can't fathom.-- What does it all mean? Is there a greater purpose, or are we all just dust in the wind? There is a light at the end of the tunnel.-- I glimpse beauty in it's true form. Eyes dark as night and hair shimmering in the sun. It is but an eclipse.-- Violently shorn from my being, never to be replaced. The clarity is gone...I sacrifice my emotions to hide the agony. I drown my mind in a sea of confusion and loss.-- As time takes it's toll, I find that I'm penniless and heartbroken. Wraiths of lost memories surround me.-- I'll never forget the day my emotions were caged. Something has willed them

Why do I allow myself to feel? Any time I open up, all that I feel is pain. In my car, loss and agony ride shotgun, with depression and doubt in the backseat, giving directions. Loss has the form of a sixteen year old blonde from my past. I know it can't be her, for she's no longer a part of my life. She rides in the side seat of my mind's automobile. Her smile still wracks my body with pain. I know at this point I'm dreaming. This horrid world of dreams is where I go when I rest. Every night, a new adventure, but I always end up in the same place. Depression and apathy are the forms I cower in during the daylight hours. It's a uniform I

If you aim low, you can never be disappointed. IF you aim high, you will always be disappointed. People say reach for the stars. Are they aware that the stars burn? The bitter truth of this world is that no one gives a damn. They may pretend they care. If you ask them, what else would they say? "Fuck off?" Didn't think so. I've spent so much time trying to please people. Trying to make their world a better place. All I did was make my own worse. I cling to the hope that I'm making a difference. These words may fall on deaf ears. It does me good to put them to the page. I like to think that I matter to someone. It may be true, i

Her beauty eclipses even the sun. From the moment I awaken, my thoughts are no other place. I remember all the details, every little thing she's ever said. Always nagging in the back of my mind is a dirty little idea that she doesn't feel the same way. Forever. She tells me she'll love me forever. Never in my life have I been so happy. I feel like I could fly. The days, weeks, and months go by. I'm floating in a rapturous sea. The tides carry me home to my love's embrace. Her embrace is as sweet as anything on this world or any other. The touch of her skin sends shivers down my spine. The sensation never flickers, the infatuation never wane

The first sparks don't always cause a flame. It can take time to catch. The fire that burns has a name. It might not be that hard to fetch. That name is love. This you now know. It comes from above. Given by that which does not show. It waxes and wanes. Some never feel the touch. Of those shimmering flames. I enjoy it oh so much. I will always hold a candle. For one that was lost. The thoughts are hard to handle. But I gladly pay the cost. For I grasped it. The flames razed my skin. Not just a little bit. But everything within. My mind is always clouded. The skin now only has scars. My heart is still surrounded. Even wh

Seven save me from the neverending torment. How did it come to this? I thought I had atoned? Was it all a lie? The lie inherent in your words haunts my being. You claim I've failed you. Done you wrong. You elegantly abase me, dropping me ever deeper into my pit of despair. One day I think I've hit the bottom. Where my emotions used to cascade in electifying clarity, now they only trickle out in cold rivulets. I'm in a perpetual state of exhaustion. My body can't hold on in the real world. My mind is also weary, having to deal with all these thoughts in solitude. My emotions have now been trained to a transcendental level. I have